I have no idea who Jimmy Kimmel is but it seems as if he another of the bazillion talk show hosts that seem to be around on US TV.
It seems Kimmel's girlfriend recorded a video as something of an in-joke called "I'm fucking Matt Damon".
Kimmel then came back with a follow up. Not content with just getting his own back, Kimmel seems to have enlisted some big names to make his announcement.
11:24 pm - Politics with Jon Stewart I've been having a little wander through the archive of the Daily Show and some recent highlights stood out:
Political commentators' hypocrisy. Jon shows how Karl Rove, Bill O'Reilly, and even Sarah Palin herself are quick to change their tune when a Republican candidate is the centre of attention.
09:45 am - Valé George Carlin Still being without proper internet access at the moment I was deeply saddened to hear about the death of George Carlin over the weekend.
I first heard his album "Class Clown" in my early years of High School. A lot of the political references I didn't get, but attending a Catholic High School at the time I was able to relate to all the religious jokes.
And for me it was a sign of inspired casting that made him Cardinal Glik in Kevin Smith's Dogma.
11:41 pm - T-shirt supplies I've noticed that my t-shirt collection has been steady depleting over the years. Some of it the inevitable wear of t-shirts that end up looking like a pale grey rather than black, or the holes that appear in them, or the logo, slowly pealing away, or even worse, slowly shrinking in the wardrobe.
Recently I've seen a few places that move beyond the usual "funny" t-shirt site to actually have some cool or witty t-shirts.
Noisebot have some very nerdily funny t-shirts. Some of them are of the type that you might need to be in the know to get the joke, but that makes them funnier I think.
Last Exit to Nowhere has a collection based on fictional places from the movies. Winchester Tavern t-shirt anyone? Though the Amity Island one would have been funnier if it was for the surf lifesaving club or something.
Additional suggestions are most welcome. Current Mood: amused
However I think I'm quite justified at standing here dumbfounded over some of the answers this daft blonde comes up with when asked "Budapest the capitol of what European country?"
Yes it's from the TV show Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader. Yes she's apparently a former contestant of American Idol. Yes she's living proof you don't need brains.
GOD: Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.
St. FRANCIS; It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
GOD: Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.
GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.
ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it - sometimes twice a week.
GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?
ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
ST. FRANCIS: No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.
GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life.
ST, FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.
GOD No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose?
ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.
GOD: And where do they get this mulch?
ST FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?
ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber", Lord. It's a story about....
GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St Francis. Current Mood: amused
01:30 pm - "Weird Al" Yanlovic back to Australia! Man I must be so out of the loop. Yesterday Tal asked me if I was going to the Weird Al concert. I looked at him blankly and asked "What concert?"
Yes close-personal-friends of Weird Al, he's coming back to Australia! (We must have made a good impression last time).
And not the Palais this time either, now we're into the Arts Centre!
Woo Hoo!
Oh and a cool Behind the Scenes of White & Nerdy. Current Mood: bouncy
12:02 am - Accents I like accents. Some grate on the ear, others I find a delight to listen to. I like trying to figure out variations of word pronunciation, how they've chnaged and that sort of thing.
Anyway on my journey home on Saturday, bereft as I was of reading material, I started nosing through the bits of newspapers that had been abandoned on the train. One in particular caught my eye and I thought I'd share the most interesting bit with you.
The column was on the back of the Herald Sun's Weekend Suppliment and was a column by Kit Galer. He starts talking about why it seems that Russell Crowe is the only Australian that Americans can understand. The he relates a conversation he had when trying to by a caramel latte:
She pointed to the menu.
Oh Caramel.
"No sir, it's carmel." "What, with a silent 'a' in the middle?" "Well, sir, that's how we pronounce it in Flodder." "Flodder?" "Yeah Flodder. You heard of that surely?" "No." "Greatest state in the US. Miami, Tampa, you know. Flodder." "Oh, you mean Florida." "Yeah Flodder."
Then there are words with which the American accent simply cannot come to grips. "Mirror" is a prime example. In New York the glass you peer into is something called a "meer". "Squirrel" is another impossibility. On a trip to the zoo I was told to keep an eye out for the many "black squirls" in the wildlife park. "Squirls?" "Sure. Cute things with bg bushy tails. Eat a lotta nuts."
10:44 am - Mad Scientist tips Just remember that in addition to perfecting your wacko invention you also need to work on your Mad Scientist Laugh. Current Mood: amused
01:08 pm - Straight Outta Lynwood Well I've finally got my own copy of Weird Al's Straight Outta Lynwood (sucks having no money at the moment).
Anyhoo. I must say I'm a little disappointed. "White & Nerdy" is possibly THE best Al song in years surpassing my favourite "It's All About the Pentiums" but I felt the rest of the songs on there a little flat. The parodies are okay but I'm not familiar with any of the the originals so I think a lot of the parody doesn't work. I don't know if AL is conciously choosing only the "Gansta" (c)rap to parody but it's not the stuff I listen to or like. *shrug*
The originals are far more entertaining with Weasel Stomping Day being my favourite, though Close But No Cigar is very good too.
Love the videos. My biggest disappointed that White & Nerdy wasn't included means all I have is the crap resultion copy I downloaded off YouTube. Current Mood: blah
01:35 pm - The Foley scandal For those of you who haven't heard about American Senator Mark Foley's outing over explicit texts and emails he was sending to junior pages over the last four years or so, it been a bit of a major stuff up. The fact that he was head of the Committee to prevent the Exploitation of Children make it even more unbelievable. Though the Republicans seem to be using the Catholic Book of Damage control. Though the complaint that removing peadophiles would have them accused of gay-bashing is astounding.
Jon Stewart has some brilliant comments at The Daily Show: Here and here (Media player links from Comedy central). Current Mood: amused
06:30 pm - Random stuff for discussion. Over at customers_suck there's been a wonderful post about the 10 Commandments for being a customer which includes such wonders as: V. THOU SHALT provide ID when asked for it in all matters creditory, checkish, tobaccan, alcoholic, pseudephedric, or lotterific, and ye shall do so happily for it is the law of man.
I think Troops really started the high phase of fan-films. Yeah there had been nerds around with super 8 cameras and things before but these guys seemed to get both the love of the original material and to have enough humour to poke fun at it. Since then there has been a glut of fan films. Like fan fiction, there's good and abysmal. I'd never seen much in the way of fan films about Star Trek though. Probably because by the time they got popular Paramount was going through it's "let's shut down all fanzines and fansites because they're in breach of copyright, even though they've been doing it for 30 years." But I've recently discovered what is being called Star Trek: The New Voyages. I watched the pilot episode over the weekend and was pleasantly surprised. It's not Wrath of Khan great but it's damn fine for what is effectively a fan film. There's still some corn but it IS extremely reminiscent of the original STar Trek series. They've even managed to get Walter Koenig to join them for an upcoming episode, which itself has been written by D.C. Fontanna.
Recently heard about a Joss Whedon written comic called Stan Lee Meets Spiderman. Nothing overly worth mentioning except there a panel shot of a guy wearing a t-shirt. I had to look closely but I think it means what I think it means: "Motherf*@&% Bees on a Motherf*@&% Zeppelin!"
Thanks to lucy_anne I have discovered the existence of the show QI. Brilliant! Sort of reminds me of Spics and Specs without the music trivia and with no real point. The fact that Stephen Fry is hosting it means it starts off from the top. Love it. Current Mood: discontent
------------------------------------------ Some helpful rules for better writing:
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)
6. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
7. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
8. Be more or less specific.
9. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
10. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
11. No sentence fragments.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Don't use no double negatives.
16. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
17. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
18. The passive voice is to be ignored.
19. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
20. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
21. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
22. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly. Current Mood: amused
03:31 pm - White & Nerdy! Oh this is brilliant! Makes up for the rather lacklustre polka song. And there's so many geek references in there that I'm not sure I should be proud or ashamed that I get :-)
See if you recognise the guy dancing next to Weird Al later in the clip.
![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/amused.gif){kind=small}
amused
![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/annoyed.gif){kind=small}
cynical
![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/sad.gif){kind=small}
sad![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/wideeyed.gif){kind=small}
stunned
![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/bouncy.gif){kind=small}
bouncy![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/happy.gif){kind=small}
impressed![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/growf/pengies/blank.gif){kind=small}
blah![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif){kind=small}
